Scarred Ledger (Version 2)

Intro

Fourth floor, water stain shaped like a map nobody reads

Radiator knocking like it's got something to confess

Every crack in the plaster got a name, got a date

I keep a ledger too, but mine's written on my face

Verse 1

Sixteen, corner store, lifting snacks I couldn't buy

Mama working nights, leaving notes and nothing else behind

Got caught, got released, got a record and a choice

Stay hungry or stay silent, both of 'em kill your voice

Took a job at the warehouse, loading trucks at four a.m.

Foreman saw the desperation, paid me less than all the rest

Three years of my paychecks went to bail bonds and to court

While my boys were getting richer, I was richer getting short

Watched a friend move product, watched him move into a tomb

Watched his mother age in seconds in a basement funeral room

Kept my hands clean, kept my head down, kept the hunger sharp and still

Every scar I didn't get is a scar I know how to feel

Chorus

I'm keeping score in the dark

Every loss is a mark

Every choice leave a scar

I'm keeping score in the dark

Verse 2

Twenty-four, got promoted, got a raise and got a doubt

Landlord finally stopped calling, but the weight don't move around

Met a girl on the sixth floor, she had eyes like an exit sign

Told her stories, told her nothing, kept the ledger off her mind

She asked me once about my hands, why they're steady when they shake

I said some people learn the world by counting all they couldn't take

She left because I couldn't say the word that means to let it go

Left because I'm always tallying, left because she didn't know

That every scar's a contract, every bruise is collateral

Every night I didn't run is a night I went through hell and all

The block don't keep no mercy, and the block don't offer grace

So I'm keeping my own ledger, keeping numbers on this face

Chorus

I'm keeping score in the dark

Every loss is a mark

Every choice leave a scar

I'm keeping score in the dark

Verse 3

Thirty now, still on the same block, different apartment, same walls

Mentor younger kids who got that hunger, see themselves in all my falls

Show 'em how to walk a line between the money and the rope

Show 'em how to count their blessings when the only thing is hope

The radiator still coughs, the stain still shapes itself wrong

But I read it different now, like a map I've traveled long

Every scar tells the story of a choice I made to live

Every mark's a small reminder of the things I didn't give

To the corner, to the game, to the voice that said be quick

I'm keeping score, but the score don't matter, just the fact I got this thick

Ledger's full, but the pages turn, and the ink ain't written yet

I'm still breathing, still deciding, and that's the only win I get

Outro

Fourth floor, water stain, radiator knocking still

I'm keeping score in the dark

I'm keeping score in the dark